Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Its only in Kenya!


Where a debonair pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance or the police

Where the police exchange fire with thugs but only toy pistols are recovered

Where millions of shillings on transit under armed guard are stolen in broad daylight without a single shot being fired

Where banks leave doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Where people run towards gunshots and bomb blasts instead of running away

Where we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".

Where the president holds a press conference to declare the legit members of his family

Where you find a zebra crossing directly below a footbridge (flyover) on a busy highway

Where a litre of bottled water is more expensive than a litre of diesel

Where a lady asks you out on a date & expects you to settle the bill

Where the music is turned off in a club coz guys are watching the news

Where one goes to India to study and comes back with an American accent

Where trees have got nothing to do with the rain, rain just falls from the sky

Where ministers steal on behalf of their tribes

Where street soccer is more popular than the national premier league

Where drought and floods alternate predictably

Where milk is poured away because it is too much

Where maize is allowed to rot in the irrigation schemes while millions of shilling is diverted to import maize.

Where able bodied men viciously elbow women out of the scramble for matatus and buses (as if they are going home to do the cooking)

Where the populace kill each other and blame politicians.

Where there's a phrase 'tunaomba serikali itusaidie' usually used in urging the government to help where a teenager would without thinking.

Where foreigners get national ID and passports easily and faster than the citizens.

Where politicians "stand" to get elected.

Where beggars violently beg?

Where people 'window shop' or stand infront of phone shop displays staring at phones yet they have two or more handsets in their pocket that function well.

Where a daughter sues her mother and seeks a compensa
tion of over 330 million for taking her to see a doctor.


Where rain determines the bus fare.

Where a bumper harvest in one region goes to waste while the neighboring districts starve.

Where men pee on flower beds!!!

Where a conversation starts with 'otherwise'..

Where most articles end with to be continued.........

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