My Dear,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in Trigonometric Lane.There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart,it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if i do so,you can integrate me.
Pleasure that you have read this.
Love.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Did You Know?
Did you know that:
>The blue whale is the largest creature that has ever lived on earth. It tips the scales at a whopping 170 tons - that's the same as about 22 elephants. Its heart is the size of a small car, and its largest blood vessels are wide enough for an adult to swim through without much difficulty.
> The largest land animal in the world is the Kodiak bear. It weighs about 862 kilograms, which is roughly the same as 14 male gymnasts.
> Approximately 50 percent of all orangutans have fractured bones, a result of falling off of trees on a regular basis.
> Giraffes and humans have the same number of bones in their necks: seven.
> When a lion wants to mate, he cannot be stopped. Copulation occurs every 15 minutes for one week straight. Luckily for lionesses, lions only want to mate once every two years.
> All clams are born as males. A clam can change to become a female, but only once, and the change is irreversible.
> The brain of a roach is located inside of its body. If a roach loses its head, it can live up to nine days. A decapitated roach dies not because it cannot think, but because it cannot eat.
> The koala does not need to drink liquids; it can obtain all of its liquids from eucalyptus leaves which are 50 percent water.
> African elephants produce approximately 100 kilograms of manure per day. Most of this manure is eaten up by beetles.
> A bird called the great tit produces its waste in enclosed sacs that it later removes from its nest. The average great tit removes approximately 500 sacs of manure from its nest each week.
> Frogs cannot vomit. Whenever a frog absolutely has to vomit, it vomits its entire stomach.
> The hummingbird flaps its wings 55 to 75 times per second. In order to fuel this activity, it eats approximately twice its weight in nectar every day.
> When hunting in packs, wolves use different howls to communicate with one another. Because echoes can distort communication, a wolf's howl does not produce an echo, even when emitted in a valley surrounded by mountains.
> The monarch butterfly can detect its lover's scent eight kilometers away.
> The water spider lives underwater but breathes air by using its web to create an underwater sac that stores air bubbles.
> The whitetail deer causes more harm to humans than any other animals do because of the number of traffic accidents that they are involved in.
> On average, sharks kill 10 humans every year. Approximately 100 people die each year when they are stepped on by cows.
>The blue whale is the largest creature that has ever lived on earth. It tips the scales at a whopping 170 tons - that's the same as about 22 elephants. Its heart is the size of a small car, and its largest blood vessels are wide enough for an adult to swim through without much difficulty.
> The largest land animal in the world is the Kodiak bear. It weighs about 862 kilograms, which is roughly the same as 14 male gymnasts.
> Approximately 50 percent of all orangutans have fractured bones, a result of falling off of trees on a regular basis.
> Giraffes and humans have the same number of bones in their necks: seven.
> When a lion wants to mate, he cannot be stopped. Copulation occurs every 15 minutes for one week straight. Luckily for lionesses, lions only want to mate once every two years.
> All clams are born as males. A clam can change to become a female, but only once, and the change is irreversible.
> The brain of a roach is located inside of its body. If a roach loses its head, it can live up to nine days. A decapitated roach dies not because it cannot think, but because it cannot eat.
> The koala does not need to drink liquids; it can obtain all of its liquids from eucalyptus leaves which are 50 percent water.
> African elephants produce approximately 100 kilograms of manure per day. Most of this manure is eaten up by beetles.
> A bird called the great tit produces its waste in enclosed sacs that it later removes from its nest. The average great tit removes approximately 500 sacs of manure from its nest each week.
> Frogs cannot vomit. Whenever a frog absolutely has to vomit, it vomits its entire stomach.
> The hummingbird flaps its wings 55 to 75 times per second. In order to fuel this activity, it eats approximately twice its weight in nectar every day.
> When hunting in packs, wolves use different howls to communicate with one another. Because echoes can distort communication, a wolf's howl does not produce an echo, even when emitted in a valley surrounded by mountains.
> The monarch butterfly can detect its lover's scent eight kilometers away.
> The water spider lives underwater but breathes air by using its web to create an underwater sac that stores air bubbles.
> The whitetail deer causes more harm to humans than any other animals do because of the number of traffic accidents that they are involved in.
> On average, sharks kill 10 humans every year. Approximately 100 people die each year when they are stepped on by cows.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
FRUITS: Maximum Benefits
It's long but very informative ;
We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.
What is the correct way of eating fruits?
IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! * FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.
FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD. Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.
In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil....
So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining ? every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc ? actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!
Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes ; all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.
There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.
When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.
But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!
KIWI: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.
APPLE: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.
STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.
ORANGE : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.
WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene ? the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.
GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.
Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can u believe this?? For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE': (THIS IS NOT A JOKE!) Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
Do you now see why the previous generations enjoyed life for a bit longer?
(Courtesy of a Graduate Nutritionist)
We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.
What is the correct way of eating fruits?
IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS! * FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.
FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD. Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.
In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil....
So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals! You have heard people complaining ? every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc ? actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!
Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, and dark circles under the eyes ; all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.
There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the Secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.
When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.
But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!
KIWI: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.
APPLE: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.
STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.
ORANGE : Sweetest medicine. Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.
WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene ? the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.
GUAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.
Drinking Cold water after a meal = Cancer! Can u believe this?? For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks HEART ATTACK PROCEDURE': (THIS IS NOT A JOKE!) Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
Do you now see why the previous generations enjoyed life for a bit longer?
(Courtesy of a Graduate Nutritionist)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Its only in Kenya!
Where a debonair pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance or the police
Where the police exchange fire with thugs but only toy pistols are recovered
Where millions of shillings on transit under armed guard are stolen in broad daylight without a single shot being fired
Where banks leave doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Where people run towards gunshots and bomb blasts instead of running away
Where we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
Where the president holds a press conference to declare the legit members of his family
Where you find a zebra crossing directly below a footbridge (flyover) on a busy highway
Where a litre of bottled water is more expensive than a litre of diesel
Where a lady asks you out on a date & expects you to settle the bill
Where the music is turned off in a club coz guys are watching the news
Where one goes to India to study and comes back with an American accent
Where trees have got nothing to do with the rain, rain just falls from the sky
Where ministers steal on behalf of their tribes
Where street soccer is more popular than the national premier league
Where drought and floods alternate predictably
Where milk is poured away because it is too much
Where maize is allowed to rot in the irrigation schemes while millions of shilling is diverted to import maize.
Where able bodied men viciously elbow women out of the scramble for matatus and buses (as if they are going home to do the cooking)
Where the populace kill each other and blame politicians.
Where there's a phrase 'tunaomba serikali itusaidie' usually used in urging the government to help where a teenager would without thinking.
Where foreigners get national ID and passports easily and faster than the citizens.
Where politicians "stand" to get elected.
Where beggars violently beg?
Where people 'window shop' or stand infront of phone shop displays staring at phones yet they have two or more handsets in their pocket that function well.
Where a daughter sues her mother and seeks a compensation of over 330 million for taking her to see a doctor.
Where rain determines the bus fare.
Where a bumper harvest in one region goes to waste while the neighboring districts starve.
Where men pee on flower beds!!!
Where a conversation starts with 'otherwise'..
Where most articles end with to be continued.........
Where a debonair pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance or the police
Where the police exchange fire with thugs but only toy pistols are recovered
Where millions of shillings on transit under armed guard are stolen in broad daylight without a single shot being fired
Where banks leave doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Where people run towards gunshots and bomb blasts instead of running away
Where we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
Where the president holds a press conference to declare the legit members of his family
Where you find a zebra crossing directly below a footbridge (flyover) on a busy highway
Where a litre of bottled water is more expensive than a litre of diesel
Where a lady asks you out on a date & expects you to settle the bill
Where the music is turned off in a club coz guys are watching the news
Where one goes to India to study and comes back with an American accent
Where trees have got nothing to do with the rain, rain just falls from the sky
Where ministers steal on behalf of their tribes
Where street soccer is more popular than the national premier league
Where drought and floods alternate predictably
Where milk is poured away because it is too much
Where maize is allowed to rot in the irrigation schemes while millions of shilling is diverted to import maize.
Where able bodied men viciously elbow women out of the scramble for matatus and buses (as if they are going home to do the cooking)
Where the populace kill each other and blame politicians.
Where there's a phrase 'tunaomba serikali itusaidie' usually used in urging the government to help where a teenager would without thinking.
Where foreigners get national ID and passports easily and faster than the citizens.
Where politicians "stand" to get elected.
Where beggars violently beg?
Where people 'window shop' or stand infront of phone shop displays staring at phones yet they have two or more handsets in their pocket that function well.
Where a daughter sues her mother and seeks a compensation of over 330 million for taking her to see a doctor.
Where rain determines the bus fare.
Where a bumper harvest in one region goes to waste while the neighboring districts starve.
Where men pee on flower beds!!!
Where a conversation starts with 'otherwise'..
Where most articles end with to be continued.........
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Suppose it Happens to You:
You come home one day with flowers for you dear wife. You have been married for fifteen years and have 2 kids of 11yrs and 1 and half yr. No big incidences or ugly scenes ever. When you knock at the door there is no answer so you use your key to open and get in. She is in the house alright but just a blank stare and no hugs for you today. There is no coffee on the table either and then you start "Hi honey, I brought U these roses and they are very fresh". She accepts, thanks you and throws them outta the window. Then after a moment she says "Honey I'm sorry I'm leaving you". and with that she calls a taxi and buzzes off with her suitcase. Gentlemen, how would you handle such a situation?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Facts: Some Disgusting
KCSE Results released, News good to some people but quite bad to others;
Consider these extracts:
March 2nd,2010.
Steve Mbuvi.
Consider these extracts:
- Performance has improved, 81,048 managed the C+ needed to qualify for university, a 24.27% increase over previous year.
- Number of candidates who took examinations in hospital has grown to 115 from 80 in 2008. Main reason being maternity.
- 720,000 text messages sent to the examinations phone service to query results.
- Concern over girls' performance, none makes it to top 10.
total of 81,048 candidates scored at least an aggregate of C+, which is the minimum grade required to qualify for university admission.
Prof Ongeri, releasing the results on Tuesday at the Kenya Institute of Education in Nairobi, said this improvement represented a 24.27 per cent increase over the previous year. A total of 330,000 sat for the Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) examinations in 2009.
Gender disparity was isolated as a major concern and the minister said parents should be persuaded to keep their daughters in school. No girl made it into the top ten candidates.
The number of candidates who took examinations in hospital rose to 115 from 80 in 2008. He said the main reason being was maternity resulting from sexual molestation.
"We will not spare any effort to deal with errant teachers involved in this," he said.
Prof Ongeri said while there was improvement in the overall performance, his ministry had outlined several strategies to ensure better quality. He outlined seven action points for this:
a) Improve secondary school science laboratories through targeted grants for construction and equipment.
b) Institutionalise in-service training to upgrade skills of science and mathematics teachers.
c) Provide capacity building for field officers and head teachers to enable them support curriculum development.
d) Recruit more quality assurance officers.
e) Conduct skills upgrade courses for teachers involved in subjects in which students perform poorly.
f) Improve governance and accountability.
g) Mainstream use of computers in secondary education.
A total of 1,171 candidates in 69 schools have been penalised for cheating. Prof Ongeri said most of the examination irregularities involved use of pre-prepared notes, mobile phones, and sneaking of note books into the rooms.
LIST OF TOP TEN CANDIDATES NATIONALLY
- GATHUKU DAVID NDUNG'U, 87.26857, MANGU HIGH SCHOOL
- OMANGI TREVOR MOKAYA, 87.25143, MASENO SCHOOL
- TONUI HILLARY KIPKIRUI, 87.25043, ALLIANCE HIGH SCHOOL
- ODUOL FREDRICK CONSTANT, 87.223, STAREHE BOYS CENTRE & SCHOOL
- KIAMBATI KENNETH KOOME, 87.20371, ALLIANCE HIGH SCHOOL
- WEKESA EDWIN MAGEMA, 87.199, WEIWEI SECONDARY SCHOOL
- KOGIE PATRICK KIRAGU, 87.19314, ALLIANCE HIGH SCHOOL
- CHERUIYOT ANDREW KIPKORIR, 87.17629, ALLIANCE HIGH SCHOOL
- KIMANI JAMES MUTURI, 87.16257, EVELYN MEMORIAL CHRISTIAN HIGH
- SIMIYU W BRIAN, 87.16243, MUSINGU HIGH SCHOOL
March 2nd,2010.
Steve Mbuvi.
How much do you value life? Have you ever taken time to think deeply about it? In my own opinion, nobody should ever think of breaking the commandment that says' Thou shall not Kill-am not sure which it is but you could be sure.
Why is it then some people just play around with God's creation. All animals, however small or large-as well as plants, regardless of the variety are a result of God's commitment. He spared His time to create and so we should care for them.
Not that God lacked anything to create us and all world, but He still decided to give us a chance to enjoy life which He gives freely.It's quite unfortunate that many of us don't realize this and end up going against His will.
The bottom line is: The environment is God given, so may we purpose to conserve it!
Mbuvi.
Why is it then some people just play around with God's creation. All animals, however small or large-as well as plants, regardless of the variety are a result of God's commitment. He spared His time to create and so we should care for them.
Not that God lacked anything to create us and all world, but He still decided to give us a chance to enjoy life which He gives freely.It's quite unfortunate that many of us don't realize this and end up going against His will.
The bottom line is: The environment is God given, so may we purpose to conserve it!
Mbuvi.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Now that there are people out to advocate for the weigh bridge at Mlolongo market to be moved in order to ease traffic on the highway, shall it not mean more than that since I believe the name shall also have to be changed? No more lorries on the queue, no more Mlolongo!
Though I rarely use Mombasa-Nairobi highway,am concerned because the place is in my home province.....how crazy is that?
Though I rarely use Mombasa-Nairobi highway,am concerned because the place is in my home province.....how crazy is that?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
"Am proud to be a Kenyan".Does this still stand for most of you? In my own opinion I confess that am completely annoyed by the way mature men are trying to play around with our minds and rights. It makes no sense at all to argue over facts and I believe the 2 principals-and by the way who gave them this prestigious name-know very well what to do in order to rectify the mess.
My kind request-if at all they wish because this is Kenya where a new sector, not public or private but political, is the most active-is that they take time to recall the pledges they used to make to millions of innocent Kenyans, some of whom lost either their lives or relatives during the dark Kenyan hours in 2008 and take a quick action to save our country and restore her dignity.
My kind request-if at all they wish because this is Kenya where a new sector, not public or private but political, is the most active-is that they take time to recall the pledges they used to make to millions of innocent Kenyans, some of whom lost either their lives or relatives during the dark Kenyan hours in 2008 and take a quick action to save our country and restore her dignity.
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